If you've ever watched "The Nanny," you might remember the episode when Fran gets married and Mr. Scheffield's sister talks to her before the ceremony. "I'd like to give you a warm welcome into the family," says she. Then, barely touching Fran's shoulder with the tip of her fingers and with the fakest smile on her face she says "Welcome." And Walks away. The feelings of "warmth" from a greeting like this often fill me when I am around people from Church. And no wonder. A couple recent episodes in my life just showed me once again how close-minded some Christians can be.
A man introduced himself after the service yesterday. He asked whom I was texting the entire time. I gladly let him know that it was my friend, and that the friend will be joining me now for the 7:15 service. It's the same friend that I wrote about before -- the one who pronounced themselves to be an atheist. So in a few words I shared the story and my excitement. The words that came out of the guys' mouth next just made me wonder. "Wow, that is really encouraging to hear. I guess like Pastor Mark was saying, if anyone pronounced that to me, I would've just thrown them away and considered them a waste of time. But God doesn't. And it's really impressive that you still befriended that person and cultivated a relationship with them and didn't give up."
Rewind to about three weeks ago to a conversation between people from different churches in a cafe. One of the girls emotionally argued that Mars Hill is an bad place because none-Christians feel comfortable coming there. And why the heck would we want so many of them to come?
The friend, who happens to be Hispanic, pointed out to me after church that there was only one person "darker than them" at church. I've never realized that before, but it says something about a church, and quite frankly, it's very disappointing to me. I'm at a place in my life right now where I am close friends with people of all kinds of different origin. If before racism and intolerance, especially in Russian churches, only bothered me as a concept, now it's personal. My closest friends now are from all over the world. Israel, Mexico, Colombia, Guatemala, Philippines, and of course U.S. and Russia. A lot of them are the ones whose prayers get me through each weeks. But a lot of them aren't Christians (yet.) And I'd love it if every single one of them found Jesus Christ as their personal Savior! After myriads of heart-to-hearts and long-time conversations though, if I bring them to church and the welcome that they feel en masse is the one I described in the first paragraph... Well that just undoes all the love of Jesus Christ that any singular kind soul might have ever shown them.
Anyways. I wouldn't say that I'm too surprised at this attitude. But I guess I'm a little surprised that I found it in Mars Hill. I wonder if the man who I talked to would be inspired to befriend an unbeliever now. And then throw them away after they don't immediately repent when he brings them to church. I wish churches were more tolerant. Not towards sin. But towards sinners, viewing them as God views them -- as His children. The ones whom it will grieve Him deeply to judge at the end because He is first and foremost their Father! And only after that the Judge. Think about this.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Distractions
If you have been reading this blog for a little while, you know that I've been intently praying about the calling on my heart (music), and that God has been coming through in amazing ways (such as getting me a free keyboard). One of the more specific requests that I voiced to God was a clear guidance about the next step I need to take in order for this ministry to start benefiting others. Of course, He has been faithful, and the answer I got was to legibly write down what up to this point I only have on loose pieces of paper and hummed into a recorder (yes, I DID need an answer from God for something this obvious...) This is a task that I am fully equipped for -- both in education and technology. What apparently I'm lacking is dedication and discipline to just sit down and write! Or that's what I thought.
As soon as I decided that this needs to happen, the enemy started to scheme. And it took me a little while to figure out that all the wonderful things happening in my life in reality aren't wonderful at all!!! All of a sudden I started to get very appealing proposals for things to keep me busy. And by "appealing" I mean deals like translating a very interesting book. I (clearly) have a passion for all things that have to do with writing, editing, and translating. Working with an author who has wit, in a addition to a strong point that I agree with, would have been a dream come true. But the Holy Spirit whispered that I need to stay away and focus on music instead.
This is just one example of the kinds of things that have been happening in my life. The reason I finally recognized that they are distractions rather than opportunities was yet another sermon from pastor Mark Driscoll. He talked about how there's a million of good things we could be doing. But they are not the BEST for us to do. And we need to learn to focus on the ministry or calling that God has placed us into, instead of trying to do everything, be everywhere, and talk to everyone
The result of all the distractions in my life (some of which I admit that I easily gave into) is that, since two months ago that God has told me exactly what to do, I have written down a total of three songs. Laughable. Although I am always tempted to excuse myself and say that three is better than none. But the thing is that I also heard God tell me that we are given a limited amount of time for a reason. That message was very random at the time, but now I see how it applies. I'm living on my own now. And I'm the manager of my time -- probably not forever and maybe even not for long. I need to use the time I have to get to know God more and fulfill the purpose that He has for my life and for my ministry.
If you would like to pray for me, please ask for discernment to distinguish between distractions and opportunities, for strength to tactfully combat distractions, and for discipline to actually sit down and write. I'm thankful for the time and tools God has given me to focus on writing down the songs He keeps placing in my heart. I don't want to squander those blessings.
As soon as I decided that this needs to happen, the enemy started to scheme. And it took me a little while to figure out that all the wonderful things happening in my life in reality aren't wonderful at all!!! All of a sudden I started to get very appealing proposals for things to keep me busy. And by "appealing" I mean deals like translating a very interesting book. I (clearly) have a passion for all things that have to do with writing, editing, and translating. Working with an author who has wit, in a addition to a strong point that I agree with, would have been a dream come true. But the Holy Spirit whispered that I need to stay away and focus on music instead.
This is just one example of the kinds of things that have been happening in my life. The reason I finally recognized that they are distractions rather than opportunities was yet another sermon from pastor Mark Driscoll. He talked about how there's a million of good things we could be doing. But they are not the BEST for us to do. And we need to learn to focus on the ministry or calling that God has placed us into, instead of trying to do everything, be everywhere, and talk to everyone
The result of all the distractions in my life (some of which I admit that I easily gave into) is that, since two months ago that God has told me exactly what to do, I have written down a total of three songs. Laughable. Although I am always tempted to excuse myself and say that three is better than none. But the thing is that I also heard God tell me that we are given a limited amount of time for a reason. That message was very random at the time, but now I see how it applies. I'm living on my own now. And I'm the manager of my time -- probably not forever and maybe even not for long. I need to use the time I have to get to know God more and fulfill the purpose that He has for my life and for my ministry.
If you would like to pray for me, please ask for discernment to distinguish between distractions and opportunities, for strength to tactfully combat distractions, and for discipline to actually sit down and write. I'm thankful for the time and tools God has given me to focus on writing down the songs He keeps placing in my heart. I don't want to squander those blessings.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Knowing Where You Stand
My thanksgiving weekend was definitely not what I expected it to be. Eye opening, at the least, it made me aware of just how important it is for me to know why I believe what I believe. After a hefty dinner on Thursday, I was on my way to visit a friend whose church held a youth conference. Somewhat aware of the negative sentiment that that church's leadership held towards Mars Hill, I nevertheless did not attempt to hide that it was a church that I considered home. Naturally, this created several occasions for debate.
It's difficult for me to weave the complexity of what happened into just a few paragraphs. Many factors contributed to the formation of widely accepted opinion about Mars Hill at that place. The leadership's goal for the past year has been to raise awareness about the Emerging Church, and warn their "flock" about the pitfalls and dangers of that movement. However, they seem to be unaware of the difference between Emerging and Emergent. All the attributes that they've given to an Emerging Church are really those of an Emergent Church, which Mars Hill is NOT. But what the leaders have been doing is listing it in the same category with Emergent Village.
Because of that sentiment, those in the church who never bothered to do their research, but zealously stand behind their pastor's opinion, actively participated in the naturally created debates with us, people from Mars. As funny as it sounds -- and always what the enemy's goal is for Christians to do -- the debate centered around appearances. Mars Hill just doesn't LOOK godly. The music is too loud. After that conversation one of my friends admitted that she hated how those were the only arguments they could think of because we are right, it DOESN'T matter. And that she wants to do more research to figure out what is REALLY wrong with Mars Hill.
I could sense the disappointment when upon the question of "did you get anything out of the conference?" all I could say is that it was a nice review. Andy Snider did a basic overview of Modernism and Postmodernism. But Pastor Mark has already done several way more in-depth sermons on these, as well as on the pitfalls and dangers of the Emergent Church movement. All I can say is that it was a difficult situation for me to be in. I didn't enjoy the conference. I didn't enjoy the tremendous effort it took for me to be loving towards people who were hating on my church. But I'm glad that the experience made me more aware of the importance of ME knowing the difference between Emerging and Emergent.
It also made me more thankful. Thankful that God has placed me in an amazing city where there is an amazing church that I can be a part of. Thankful for Mark Driscoll and the in-depth way in which he teaches the Bible. Thankful for the rest of Mars Hill team who make his sermons easily accessible. Thankful for my parents, who have taught me the importance of discernment from a VERY early age. Thankful for like-minded friends from Mars Hill, and especially those who were also at this conference, with whom I can share my thoughts and feelings about this experience. But most importantly, I'm thankful for God's Word. I'm thankful that He left us something to rely on, and that it's alive and talking today to everyone individually, always applicable, no matter what the situation.
This is a helpful sermon that Mark preached on the topic of the Emerging Church.
It's difficult for me to weave the complexity of what happened into just a few paragraphs. Many factors contributed to the formation of widely accepted opinion about Mars Hill at that place. The leadership's goal for the past year has been to raise awareness about the Emerging Church, and warn their "flock" about the pitfalls and dangers of that movement. However, they seem to be unaware of the difference between Emerging and Emergent. All the attributes that they've given to an Emerging Church are really those of an Emergent Church, which Mars Hill is NOT. But what the leaders have been doing is listing it in the same category with Emergent Village.
Because of that sentiment, those in the church who never bothered to do their research, but zealously stand behind their pastor's opinion, actively participated in the naturally created debates with us, people from Mars. As funny as it sounds -- and always what the enemy's goal is for Christians to do -- the debate centered around appearances. Mars Hill just doesn't LOOK godly. The music is too loud. After that conversation one of my friends admitted that she hated how those were the only arguments they could think of because we are right, it DOESN'T matter. And that she wants to do more research to figure out what is REALLY wrong with Mars Hill.
I could sense the disappointment when upon the question of "did you get anything out of the conference?" all I could say is that it was a nice review. Andy Snider did a basic overview of Modernism and Postmodernism. But Pastor Mark has already done several way more in-depth sermons on these, as well as on the pitfalls and dangers of the Emergent Church movement. All I can say is that it was a difficult situation for me to be in. I didn't enjoy the conference. I didn't enjoy the tremendous effort it took for me to be loving towards people who were hating on my church. But I'm glad that the experience made me more aware of the importance of ME knowing the difference between Emerging and Emergent.
It also made me more thankful. Thankful that God has placed me in an amazing city where there is an amazing church that I can be a part of. Thankful for Mark Driscoll and the in-depth way in which he teaches the Bible. Thankful for the rest of Mars Hill team who make his sermons easily accessible. Thankful for my parents, who have taught me the importance of discernment from a VERY early age. Thankful for like-minded friends from Mars Hill, and especially those who were also at this conference, with whom I can share my thoughts and feelings about this experience. But most importantly, I'm thankful for God's Word. I'm thankful that He left us something to rely on, and that it's alive and talking today to everyone individually, always applicable, no matter what the situation.
This is a helpful sermon that Mark preached on the topic of the Emerging Church.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Instant Answer
On the verge of panicking myself into an anxiety attack this morning, not knowing what to worry about more, in utter desperation I bowed my head and said to God that once again my life is in utter disorder in more than one aspect, that I don't know how I got to that point and don't know where to start and how to fix it -- but I want out. Immediately I felt a huge dosage of piece come over me -- not completely pushing out anxiety, but drowning out enough of it to get me moving through projects at work. Within a few hours I accomplished a bunch of tasks. While I was on it, I listened to one of the sermons in the Nehemiah series, preached by pastor Mark Driscoll about three or so years ago. (Nothing like a sermon to get you going...)
The sermon was on "Leading and Laboring" and concentrated mostly on organizational abilities of churches, companies, and leaders. There technically should have been nothing in it to speak to my current woes. But of course God works better than any logic that we have. So I will simply share Mark's words, exactly how he spoke them smack in the middle of an otherwise almost irrelevant to my situation, albeit very entertaining and interesting, sermon.
"... I would say for some of you, this is even a general principle that applies to your own lives. You're tired, you're burnt-out, you're frustrated, you're broke, you're not doing so well health wise. So what you're saying is "I need to run faster, try harder, do more." The issue may be: No, you need to pull back. Stop working IN your life, and work ON it. Do you need to change your place of employment, your diet, your exercise, your schedule, your budget? Do you need to drop outstanding obligations that you can no longer fulfill? Companies need to do this as well, all the time. Individuals must do this also.
One of the indicators that God gives us when we reach those places is pain: physical pain, financial pain, relational pain, emotional pain. It's God's way of saying "it's time to work on your life, not just in it. The treadmill's too fast -- you are not keeping up. It's time to get off and re-look at everything."
Let's just say that it's absolutely amazing to me how God can use old sermons to speak today. And that this time I'm not as head-first into everything that's making me anxious, so it shouldn't be as painful as the last time I had to spring-clean my life. I'm thankful that He keeps speaking to me. Keeps working on me. And keeps pulling me out of mistakes that apparently I tend to make over and over again. It's time to de-clutter. And for those of you who'll be involved -- I apologize ahead of time. But I'm burnt out. I need to get off the treadmill.
The sermon was on "Leading and Laboring" and concentrated mostly on organizational abilities of churches, companies, and leaders. There technically should have been nothing in it to speak to my current woes. But of course God works better than any logic that we have. So I will simply share Mark's words, exactly how he spoke them smack in the middle of an otherwise almost irrelevant to my situation, albeit very entertaining and interesting, sermon.
"... I would say for some of you, this is even a general principle that applies to your own lives. You're tired, you're burnt-out, you're frustrated, you're broke, you're not doing so well health wise. So what you're saying is "I need to run faster, try harder, do more." The issue may be: No, you need to pull back. Stop working IN your life, and work ON it. Do you need to change your place of employment, your diet, your exercise, your schedule, your budget? Do you need to drop outstanding obligations that you can no longer fulfill? Companies need to do this as well, all the time. Individuals must do this also.
One of the indicators that God gives us when we reach those places is pain: physical pain, financial pain, relational pain, emotional pain. It's God's way of saying "it's time to work on your life, not just in it. The treadmill's too fast -- you are not keeping up. It's time to get off and re-look at everything."
Let's just say that it's absolutely amazing to me how God can use old sermons to speak today. And that this time I'm not as head-first into everything that's making me anxious, so it shouldn't be as painful as the last time I had to spring-clean my life. I'm thankful that He keeps speaking to me. Keeps working on me. And keeps pulling me out of mistakes that apparently I tend to make over and over again. It's time to de-clutter. And for those of you who'll be involved -- I apologize ahead of time. But I'm burnt out. I need to get off the treadmill.
Friday, October 30, 2009
R-71 -- You signed for it to go on the ballot. Now VOTE!!!
Ever since I got my ballot in the mail I've been a little afraid. Churches had a mass-movement to sign the petition to put Senate bill 5688 on the ballot. And people signed R-71 en masse. But I don't think everyone was aware of what exactly they were signing -- I wasn't at first. The Referendum only accomplished putting this bill on the voting ballot by getting enough signatures. It did not change any decisions that have been made. In order to make the bill pass or not pass people now need to vote - on, or before November 3, 2009.
If you are a registered voter, please don't forget to exercise your rights this November! If going to a voting location is too much trouble, you can request an absentee ballot from http://www.piercecountywa.org/pc/abtus/ourorg/aud/elections/voterservices/vbmrequest.htm. (The form takes about ten seconds to fill out!) If you don't receive your ballot in time for Pierce, you can go and vote at a polling location. Find the list by clicking on "Polling Places" on http://www.piercecountywa.org/pc/abtus/ourorg/aud/elections/main.htm. King County votes entirely by mail now.
I received this blog post in an e-mail this morning -- extremely timely. I am re-posting it, as it gives a perspective of both sides. (Read the comments.) All I will say about it is that I wish the first one-word comment was not there. I do not endorse it or agree with it, and am reluctant to put a link to that in my post. But the rest of the stuff is pretty good and is worth reading, so please do. And then please vote.
http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2009/oct/25/persecuted-should-know-better/#comments
If you are a registered voter, please don't forget to exercise your rights this November! If going to a voting location is too much trouble, you can request an absentee ballot from http://www.piercecountywa.org/pc/abtus/ourorg/aud/elections/voterservices/vbmrequest.htm. (The form takes about ten seconds to fill out!) If you don't receive your ballot in time for Pierce, you can go and vote at a polling location. Find the list by clicking on "Polling Places" on http://www.piercecountywa.org/pc/abtus/ourorg/aud/elections/main.htm. King County votes entirely by mail now.
I received this blog post in an e-mail this morning -- extremely timely. I am re-posting it, as it gives a perspective of both sides. (Read the comments.) All I will say about it is that I wish the first one-word comment was not there. I do not endorse it or agree with it, and am reluctant to put a link to that in my post. But the rest of the stuff is pretty good and is worth reading, so please do. And then please vote.
http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2009/oct/25/persecuted-should-know-better/#comments
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thankful
I have been blessed with two wonderful small groups where every week I have a chance to spend time with beautiful people, open up to them, hear them open up, and pray. And for the past several weeks these groups have been nothing but a constant reminder of how blessed I am to have what I have. Hearing about other people's struggles has filled my heart with overwhelming gratitude for having almost a perfect life. And even though Thanksgiving is a month away, I just want to share all the things that I have been thankful for lately and the stories -- no names mentioned -- that made me more aware of those blessings.
I am thankful for my family, and especially for the fact that they are close. There isn't just one prayer request that came up in recent group discussions where someone asked for unity in the family, restoration of the family, and more open relationships with parents, siblings, and spouses. There is an overwhelming sense of wanting to belong with the people that are most dear to our hearts. There is a yearning for security and stability in relationships with a unit that is supposed to automatically accept you as you are, but often does not. It's not that I wasn't aware of the fact that my family is a blessing before. But lately I have been extra thankful for it. Perhaps the only completely open, accepting, and secure relationship that I have is with my family. I know that I belong there. I know that my home is a place where I'll be taken care of and accepted, no matter what! And home is only an hour away. So I can tap into that security literally at any moment that I want! My family is what I value most, and I can't believe that I am the one who was blessed to have that relationship in the middle of the world where people view it as an exception.
Another thing I'm thankful for is my apartment. I'm thankful that it's cozy, warm, safe, and secure. I'm thankful that I can afford it. I'm thankful that my landlord is normal. And I'm thankful that I'm at a place in life where I can have a space that is entirely my own and that I love coming back to every day. Both of my prayer groups lately have had people struggle with finding a good living situation. Some of them went through waters and fires to find a suitable place to settle down. Others have been looking for compatible roommates and struggling with deciding or even finding an honest person to live with. Their prayers made me way more appreciative of something that - I hate to admit - I took more for granted at first. By His grace, God has made the transition from my parents' house into my own so smooth and painless that I thought that this is the way it always works. And I'm just overwhelmingly appreciative of this now that I see what people go through just to find A place to live -- not to mention a place they love, like I love mine.
I'm thankful for my job. As much as it's not a dream job, I have to admit that I get it pretty easy. Within certain restrictions, I am pretty much on my own time. I've been blessed with a supervisor that people only wish for -- the kind that protects his team and looks for resources to aid them in their work instead of nitpicking on every mistake and micromanaging every step. The amount of work that I do can often be overwhelming. But at least it's not the kind that I have to worry about before going to bed at night. And an overwhelming amount of work is much better than no work. Especially in this economy. My position is secure. I have no reason to worry about being fired. My benefits are excellent. And my department is for the most part awesome -- I get along with everyone. I respect our director and am learning a ton of things from him, as well as from my supervisor. And the pay, although not exactly anybody's dream salary, is more than enough to pay for my bills, trips, and entertainment without getting into debt. I hear people praying for situations that seem insanely overwhelming to me. Bosses that yell and don't deal with glaring issues. Situations that are unethical, at the least, which supervisors choose to close their eyes on. Unfair compensation, unreasonable hours, and unfathomable co-workers. All those thing just make me extra thankful for what I have but often don't value.
I am thankful for all the Christians who surround me. I see people who struggle with loneliness and don't have that resource available to them. I got depressed on Monday. That feeling only lasted for a couple hours. And the reason for a quick recovery from something that people struggle with for years is a community of Jesus -loving people who were praying for me or were just there to talk to me and surround me with love. God centered fellowship made me snap out of it faster than anything esle could have. But there are so many people out there who don't have that! They don't have people they trust and can be open enough to pray with. They don't have unjudgmental understanding, and support. All they have is an overwhelming avalanche of emotions to deal with all on their own -- a difficult task at the least! I've been blessed with an incredible amount of people through whom God pours out His love on me in a competely tangable way! And I'm very thankful for that.
I feel cradled in God's arms. I feel like He takes care of me really well, and sometimes seemingly much better than of the people around -- although I KNOW that it's not true because He loves EVERYONE. I don't deserve it. But I am out of my mind thankful for it.
I am thankful for my family, and especially for the fact that they are close. There isn't just one prayer request that came up in recent group discussions where someone asked for unity in the family, restoration of the family, and more open relationships with parents, siblings, and spouses. There is an overwhelming sense of wanting to belong with the people that are most dear to our hearts. There is a yearning for security and stability in relationships with a unit that is supposed to automatically accept you as you are, but often does not. It's not that I wasn't aware of the fact that my family is a blessing before. But lately I have been extra thankful for it. Perhaps the only completely open, accepting, and secure relationship that I have is with my family. I know that I belong there. I know that my home is a place where I'll be taken care of and accepted, no matter what! And home is only an hour away. So I can tap into that security literally at any moment that I want! My family is what I value most, and I can't believe that I am the one who was blessed to have that relationship in the middle of the world where people view it as an exception.
Another thing I'm thankful for is my apartment. I'm thankful that it's cozy, warm, safe, and secure. I'm thankful that I can afford it. I'm thankful that my landlord is normal. And I'm thankful that I'm at a place in life where I can have a space that is entirely my own and that I love coming back to every day. Both of my prayer groups lately have had people struggle with finding a good living situation. Some of them went through waters and fires to find a suitable place to settle down. Others have been looking for compatible roommates and struggling with deciding or even finding an honest person to live with. Their prayers made me way more appreciative of something that - I hate to admit - I took more for granted at first. By His grace, God has made the transition from my parents' house into my own so smooth and painless that I thought that this is the way it always works. And I'm just overwhelmingly appreciative of this now that I see what people go through just to find A place to live -- not to mention a place they love, like I love mine.
I'm thankful for my job. As much as it's not a dream job, I have to admit that I get it pretty easy. Within certain restrictions, I am pretty much on my own time. I've been blessed with a supervisor that people only wish for -- the kind that protects his team and looks for resources to aid them in their work instead of nitpicking on every mistake and micromanaging every step. The amount of work that I do can often be overwhelming. But at least it's not the kind that I have to worry about before going to bed at night. And an overwhelming amount of work is much better than no work. Especially in this economy. My position is secure. I have no reason to worry about being fired. My benefits are excellent. And my department is for the most part awesome -- I get along with everyone. I respect our director and am learning a ton of things from him, as well as from my supervisor. And the pay, although not exactly anybody's dream salary, is more than enough to pay for my bills, trips, and entertainment without getting into debt. I hear people praying for situations that seem insanely overwhelming to me. Bosses that yell and don't deal with glaring issues. Situations that are unethical, at the least, which supervisors choose to close their eyes on. Unfair compensation, unreasonable hours, and unfathomable co-workers. All those thing just make me extra thankful for what I have but often don't value.
I am thankful for all the Christians who surround me. I see people who struggle with loneliness and don't have that resource available to them. I got depressed on Monday. That feeling only lasted for a couple hours. And the reason for a quick recovery from something that people struggle with for years is a community of Jesus -loving people who were praying for me or were just there to talk to me and surround me with love. God centered fellowship made me snap out of it faster than anything esle could have. But there are so many people out there who don't have that! They don't have people they trust and can be open enough to pray with. They don't have unjudgmental understanding, and support. All they have is an overwhelming avalanche of emotions to deal with all on their own -- a difficult task at the least! I've been blessed with an incredible amount of people through whom God pours out His love on me in a competely tangable way! And I'm very thankful for that.
I feel cradled in God's arms. I feel like He takes care of me really well, and sometimes seemingly much better than of the people around -- although I KNOW that it's not true because He loves EVERYONE. I don't deserve it. But I am out of my mind thankful for it.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Katy's Essay
My friend Katy allowed me to repost this. It's an essay she has written for one of her bible school classes. It can most definitely relate...
Jesus said, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (NIV Matthew 28:19). When people from the former USSR immigrated to the United States, they started Russian-speaking churches because it was the easiest thing to do. This in itself is not a bad thing. I understand that people who move to another country often have difficulty fitting in. It makes complete sense to gather together with a community that is comfortable: from the same country, culture, and language. However, it becomes a major problem when a church like this stops being missional. I have seen this happen far too many times. A group of Slavic believers gather as a church, and get so caught up in themselves and their traditions that they forget the community that God has placed them in. They become a stagnant church, a church that only serves itself. Because of its traditionalism, which easily develops into a religion of its own, the Slavic Church, perhaps unwillingly, becomes very segregated against people who are not like it. Growing up in a church like this, I looked down on American Christians because I was led to believe that the majority of American churches were not true Christians based on the fact that they did not honor God like we did by their outward appearance. This separation from those who are not like it, resulted in the church not being mission-oriented in its community. The Slavic Church must concentrate on being missional in the community where God placed it and accept everyone like Jesus did through grace. The church must become a church that Christ wanted it to be – His hands and feet.
Jesus’ vision for His church can be summed up in the word, “grace.” Grace teaches that God loves us in spite of what we do, not because of it. He demonstrated His love by dying for us while we were yet sinners (NIV Romans 5:8). Therefore, we are at this time the recipients of His love unconditionally, even though we are sinners. It is in no way about what we can do to earn God’s love. A mentality that I have seen in the Slavic Church strongly believes in salvation through obedience to the law and tradition. In essence, the belief states, “If one follows the rules that we have established, God will love them. However, if one does not follow these rules, God will not love them.” This contradicts and belittles God’s grace. Not only is it not true, but it is deceiving, misleading and a hindrance for the gospel. One elderly lady, a member of a Slavic Church in the area, told me once, “You will not get into heaven because your ears are pierced and your makeup is excessive.” However, in Galatians 2:6, I read: “God does not judge by external appearance.” In Jesus’ day, the Pharisees were obsessed with following the law to the dot. If they were doing the right thing, why was Jesus so upset with them? Why did Jesus justify his disciples for “breaking the tradition of the elders” and eating with unwashed hands (NIV Matthew 15:2)? He said that it is not what goes in the mouth that makes one unclean, “but the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean’” (15:17). He was infuriated with the Pharisees for focusing so much of their attention on the outward, which ultimately did not matter, and completely overlooking the inward, which was utterly important. All of these rules and traditions put forth by Slavic churches are precisely what hinder the gospel. How is one supposed to come to Christ if they are told about a God who loves them conditionally, depending on how good they are? This mentality is what the Slavic Church constantly battles with. I am not calling the church to completely stop doing works because “faith without deeds is dead” (NIV James 2:26). However, it is grace that should be the motivation to works, not faith alone. What compels us to respond with action, is realizing that we, who are undeserving, are loved by a magnificent God.
Everyone is a sinner. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (NIV Romans 3:23). No one measures up to God’s standards of holiness and purity, except through Jesus Christ alone. This is precisely why grace is so important. The gospel teaches that there are bad people who choose to repent and bad people who choose to stay unrepentant (Mark Driscoll). Legalists believe themselves to be righteous and justified by their actions. Jesus disagrees. He calls them “hypocrites” and “white washed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean” (NIV Matthew 23:27). This self-righteous mentality makes them painfully exclusive, which is the very opposite of Jesus’ gospel. It results in them pushing people further away from the gospel instead of opening their arms to offer acceptance like Jesus did. They do open their arms to people. But those people must look a certain way as well as agree to adhere to certain rules and traditions in order to be accepted. Their acceptance of people is very conditional and not in the least all-loving. Jesus is inviting everyone to be a part of the church. Who are we to think we have authority to decide if some people are better suited to be the church than others, solely based on whether or not they fit the parameters we set up for them; parameters that we somehow come up with and then add to the Bible? It is like the words of the song that say, “Jesus paid much too high a price for us to pick and choose who should come” (Casting Crowns “If We Are the Body”).
The Slavic Church in the United States has gotten carried away in religion and has forgotten its first love for Jesus. The church has ceased to be missional and continues to unwittingly turn people away from the gospel because of its standards of “holiness.” The legalists who fill the church ignore and belittle grace by trying to attain God’s favor by works. They arrogantly view themselves as “good” people because they follow the law. This is a very dangerous position to be in. This attitude is the reason why people have stopped coming to Christ through the Slavic Church. It is the biggest hindrance to the gospel and it must be stopped. There is nothing more disgusting than a church that does not live out what it preaches. A church like this brings condemnation upon itself. It is time to let go of the traditions and legalism. They are not working. It is not worth it to be holding on to a culture while turning people away from Christ. It is all about Jesus. It is not about religion, but about relationship. Instead of doing everything to hinder the gospel, let us do everything to open the way for Jesus to be glorified! Nothing else matters."
"Hindrance of the gospel in the Slavic Church"
"What is the purpose and mission of the church on earth? Is it not to be Jesus’ hands and feet? In His everlasting mercy, God brought many Slavic immigrants to the United States for a better chance at life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The question now is: What is the purpose and mission of the Slavic Church in the land of the free? It should still be the same. However, through my experience of growing up in such a church, I have realized that it has lost focus of this mission. It has forgotten the Spirit and character of Jesus’ teachings. He preached salvation through grace, not works, and that one cannot achieve a state of being “good” because everyone is in dire need of repentance. Jesus entrusted us with the Great Commission, teaching that the church must be missional. It must go out and tell people about Him in the community, city, and the world (NIV Acts 1:8).Jesus said, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (NIV Matthew 28:19). When people from the former USSR immigrated to the United States, they started Russian-speaking churches because it was the easiest thing to do. This in itself is not a bad thing. I understand that people who move to another country often have difficulty fitting in. It makes complete sense to gather together with a community that is comfortable: from the same country, culture, and language. However, it becomes a major problem when a church like this stops being missional. I have seen this happen far too many times. A group of Slavic believers gather as a church, and get so caught up in themselves and their traditions that they forget the community that God has placed them in. They become a stagnant church, a church that only serves itself. Because of its traditionalism, which easily develops into a religion of its own, the Slavic Church, perhaps unwillingly, becomes very segregated against people who are not like it. Growing up in a church like this, I looked down on American Christians because I was led to believe that the majority of American churches were not true Christians based on the fact that they did not honor God like we did by their outward appearance. This separation from those who are not like it, resulted in the church not being mission-oriented in its community. The Slavic Church must concentrate on being missional in the community where God placed it and accept everyone like Jesus did through grace. The church must become a church that Christ wanted it to be – His hands and feet.
Jesus’ vision for His church can be summed up in the word, “grace.” Grace teaches that God loves us in spite of what we do, not because of it. He demonstrated His love by dying for us while we were yet sinners (NIV Romans 5:8). Therefore, we are at this time the recipients of His love unconditionally, even though we are sinners. It is in no way about what we can do to earn God’s love. A mentality that I have seen in the Slavic Church strongly believes in salvation through obedience to the law and tradition. In essence, the belief states, “If one follows the rules that we have established, God will love them. However, if one does not follow these rules, God will not love them.” This contradicts and belittles God’s grace. Not only is it not true, but it is deceiving, misleading and a hindrance for the gospel. One elderly lady, a member of a Slavic Church in the area, told me once, “You will not get into heaven because your ears are pierced and your makeup is excessive.” However, in Galatians 2:6, I read: “God does not judge by external appearance.” In Jesus’ day, the Pharisees were obsessed with following the law to the dot. If they were doing the right thing, why was Jesus so upset with them? Why did Jesus justify his disciples for “breaking the tradition of the elders” and eating with unwashed hands (NIV Matthew 15:2)? He said that it is not what goes in the mouth that makes one unclean, “but the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean’” (15:17). He was infuriated with the Pharisees for focusing so much of their attention on the outward, which ultimately did not matter, and completely overlooking the inward, which was utterly important. All of these rules and traditions put forth by Slavic churches are precisely what hinder the gospel. How is one supposed to come to Christ if they are told about a God who loves them conditionally, depending on how good they are? This mentality is what the Slavic Church constantly battles with. I am not calling the church to completely stop doing works because “faith without deeds is dead” (NIV James 2:26). However, it is grace that should be the motivation to works, not faith alone. What compels us to respond with action, is realizing that we, who are undeserving, are loved by a magnificent God.
Everyone is a sinner. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (NIV Romans 3:23). No one measures up to God’s standards of holiness and purity, except through Jesus Christ alone. This is precisely why grace is so important. The gospel teaches that there are bad people who choose to repent and bad people who choose to stay unrepentant (Mark Driscoll). Legalists believe themselves to be righteous and justified by their actions. Jesus disagrees. He calls them “hypocrites” and “white washed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean” (NIV Matthew 23:27). This self-righteous mentality makes them painfully exclusive, which is the very opposite of Jesus’ gospel. It results in them pushing people further away from the gospel instead of opening their arms to offer acceptance like Jesus did. They do open their arms to people. But those people must look a certain way as well as agree to adhere to certain rules and traditions in order to be accepted. Their acceptance of people is very conditional and not in the least all-loving. Jesus is inviting everyone to be a part of the church. Who are we to think we have authority to decide if some people are better suited to be the church than others, solely based on whether or not they fit the parameters we set up for them; parameters that we somehow come up with and then add to the Bible? It is like the words of the song that say, “Jesus paid much too high a price for us to pick and choose who should come” (Casting Crowns “If We Are the Body”).
The Slavic Church in the United States has gotten carried away in religion and has forgotten its first love for Jesus. The church has ceased to be missional and continues to unwittingly turn people away from the gospel because of its standards of “holiness.” The legalists who fill the church ignore and belittle grace by trying to attain God’s favor by works. They arrogantly view themselves as “good” people because they follow the law. This is a very dangerous position to be in. This attitude is the reason why people have stopped coming to Christ through the Slavic Church. It is the biggest hindrance to the gospel and it must be stopped. There is nothing more disgusting than a church that does not live out what it preaches. A church like this brings condemnation upon itself. It is time to let go of the traditions and legalism. They are not working. It is not worth it to be holding on to a culture while turning people away from Christ. It is all about Jesus. It is not about religion, but about relationship. Instead of doing everything to hinder the gospel, let us do everything to open the way for Jesus to be glorified! Nothing else matters."
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The Things Obstructing God's Voice
I've been thinking about this post for about a week but haven't had time to write because of an overwhelming backup at work. But now I'm all caught up, and finally back to writing. The topic that God has placed on my heart has been prompted by an uncomfortable situation that forced me to analyze and re-evaluate a few things in my life. For a little while -- maybe a week or two -- I stopped reading my Bible. Have no misconceptions -- this HAS happened before. But ever since my dedication last November, whenever routine takes over and I don't read, it feels suffocating. It literally feels like someone has cut off the source of energy from me and I slowly lose my strength. I hunger for the word and especially for the fellowship with God that it allows.
Ironically, right during the time of my rut a friend invited me out for coffee. The friend is not a believer, but expressed excitement about hearing more about God during text messaging the night before. This made me uber-excited, perhaps a little too soon, because the next message completely threw me off. "If I respect your faith, will you respect my decision to be an atheist?" How would you respond to that? With little time to think, and knowing that I can only reply correctly with the help of the Holy Spirit, I said a quick prayer and listened. Sure enough, an answer came in a few seconds. But they felt like a lifetime. And during the tiny delay that almost threw me into panic I realized that there were a bunch of things occupying my mind that were completely in the way of God's voice!
After analyzing this situation, the meaning of the verse "All things are lawful, but not all things edify." (1 Cor. 10:23) came to me in a brand new light. Growing up in a traditional Russian baptist church, I was used to strict rules: don't smoke, don't drink, don't dance, don't listen to music, don't wear short skirts, don't watch TV. Unfortunately restrictions never really came with convincing explanations about why those things aren't supposed to be done. And naturally, without an explanation, the rules were followed only by those who never question what they're told or are deathly afraid of upsetting their parents. (A good thing. Until you are stuck in the rut of legalism and miss the whole point of Christianity.)
I am positive that for everything restricted there are millions of good reasons. But one of them especially stood out to me that night. Like trying to listen to a sermon on a radio frequency that is far away and is being used by another station closer, all the things that are addictive or just not edifying obstruct our connection with God. The music we listen to, the movies that we watch, the books that we read and the magazines that we look at, all contribute to a huge salad of thoughts that occupy our mind. The more influences there are, the more difficult it becomes to distinguish which one is speaking at which time. And the reason that it's important to stay away from all those influences as much as possible, is the ability to hear and recognize God's voice quickly in situations when you're put on the spot.
God is always faithful. He never fails to give us wisdom in an emergency. He often speaks in unexpected ways through mediums that we might think are already too familiar to get anything out of -- songs, places, people. But in order to show His faithfulness and love to others, we need to be filled with Him. We need to be read-up, prayed-up, worshipped-out, and constantly alert. We also need to stay away from anything that obstructs His voice and quickly repent once convicted, before any small sin puts a wedge between our relationship with God and draws us further and further away from His love. Only then it will be easier to instantly recognize His voice in difficult situations, and truly show His love to others out of the overflow of it in our own lives, without compromising principles, values, and convictions.
Ironically, right during the time of my rut a friend invited me out for coffee. The friend is not a believer, but expressed excitement about hearing more about God during text messaging the night before. This made me uber-excited, perhaps a little too soon, because the next message completely threw me off. "If I respect your faith, will you respect my decision to be an atheist?" How would you respond to that? With little time to think, and knowing that I can only reply correctly with the help of the Holy Spirit, I said a quick prayer and listened. Sure enough, an answer came in a few seconds. But they felt like a lifetime. And during the tiny delay that almost threw me into panic I realized that there were a bunch of things occupying my mind that were completely in the way of God's voice!
After analyzing this situation, the meaning of the verse "All things are lawful, but not all things edify." (1 Cor. 10:23) came to me in a brand new light. Growing up in a traditional Russian baptist church, I was used to strict rules: don't smoke, don't drink, don't dance, don't listen to music, don't wear short skirts, don't watch TV. Unfortunately restrictions never really came with convincing explanations about why those things aren't supposed to be done. And naturally, without an explanation, the rules were followed only by those who never question what they're told or are deathly afraid of upsetting their parents. (A good thing. Until you are stuck in the rut of legalism and miss the whole point of Christianity.)
I am positive that for everything restricted there are millions of good reasons. But one of them especially stood out to me that night. Like trying to listen to a sermon on a radio frequency that is far away and is being used by another station closer, all the things that are addictive or just not edifying obstruct our connection with God. The music we listen to, the movies that we watch, the books that we read and the magazines that we look at, all contribute to a huge salad of thoughts that occupy our mind. The more influences there are, the more difficult it becomes to distinguish which one is speaking at which time. And the reason that it's important to stay away from all those influences as much as possible, is the ability to hear and recognize God's voice quickly in situations when you're put on the spot.
God is always faithful. He never fails to give us wisdom in an emergency. He often speaks in unexpected ways through mediums that we might think are already too familiar to get anything out of -- songs, places, people. But in order to show His faithfulness and love to others, we need to be filled with Him. We need to be read-up, prayed-up, worshipped-out, and constantly alert. We also need to stay away from anything that obstructs His voice and quickly repent once convicted, before any small sin puts a wedge between our relationship with God and draws us further and further away from His love. Only then it will be easier to instantly recognize His voice in difficult situations, and truly show His love to others out of the overflow of it in our own lives, without compromising principles, values, and convictions.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Grace... Again
Sometimes I feel like an idiot. I can tell that God is talking to me, and I can even tell what the main theme of His communication is. But I have trouble applying it to my life and specific situations because it seems... well.... not applicable! He also seems to speak in global themes for a short amount of time. In the beginning of this summer He was speaking about restoration. Last spring it was prayer. The end of August I clearly heard about using time wisely but couldn't make out exactly for what I'm supposed to use it. Now it's grace. And there is no bigger topic than that in my life.
The reason why I feel stupid is because I thought that whatever there was to know about grace I knew because I lived through it (a ridiculous statement, I know). And now I can clearly tell that God is reminding me about it, but I don't know if something will happen for which I will need it again or whether I need to use some on others. Or if it's just a friendly reminder: there's this topic that you, as My child, need to know about and always remember. Here's a review... Has anyone else ever had that happen in their walk with God? You'd think that He would keep talking until I got exactly what's up. And He does do that when I need answers for specifics in my life. But not when it's global themes like this. THIS He likes to switch around all the time. He spends maybe a month to a month and a half on a topic and then changes it up. And I don't know why!!! I remember the topics for a long time, as you can tell. I just don't know where exactly to use them or whether I'm supposed to at all. But back to grace.
Growing up in a Christian home, I've always been aware of the word. I understood it in my mind as a concept applicable to sinners. I never really tied it to love until God drove the point home in the way that I least expected. But that's the best thing about grace I guess. You never expect it. I really wish that I could share all the details of my experience with the world, but for fear that it might be taken the wrong way, I will stick to general concepts and lessons learned.
I have sinned against God once again, and once again I was remorseful and wallowing in guilt because of what I've done. But the worst thing was that I didn't feel like I had the power to truly carry out my promise, once again, to never repeat that sin. God knew it too, and in my heart, I knew that there would be repercussions for what I've done. I also sensed exactly what it was going to be. I'd have to give up one of the ministries that I was involved in -- the one I loved the most and it appeared unthinkable to drop. Months passed, as God graciously prepared my heart and mind for the realization that it will truly happen. Once I settled with the thought that I will have to leave, He carried out His discipline and took that ministry away. But the people involved didn't exactly act like instruments in His hands. What the people thought I'd done wasn't true in the slightest bit. A lot of slander and gossip was involved, as they acted exactly like the people from Psalm 68:26 "To the one You have punished, they add insult to injury; they add to the pain of those You have hurt."
Through my walk with God I knew that the only thing that matters is where I stand before Him rather than what the people think. Thoroughly confused though about what I've really done and what others were saying I've done, I ran to Him fully expecting, ready for, and open to condemnation, rebuke, and judgment, since that's what the people around me were expressing. What I unexpectedly found instead was a shower of grace poured out on my life through my personal reading and through the sermons I heard at all sorts of different churches and services. The message I got was loud and clear. I love you. I know about all of the sins that you have committed and will commit. And I've loved you even before you were born all the while knowing about that. That's why I sent My Son to take your place. I don't love you any less when you have sinned or any more when you don't. I am your father, and although I discipline you, I will ALWAYS keep loving you the same way, regardless of your actions against Me. When you take one step back towards Me, I will run to you and embrace you in My loving arms to comfort, protect, and provide for you. I'm glad you returned to Me again, and all I want to do now is show you My heavenly love...
Of course that made me realize how grace works on an entirely different level. And I guess a healthy reminder never hurt anyone. I'd like to thank my Mars Hill small group for inspiring me to write about this. And Katy. Girl you've been a blessing in my life on more than one occasion and I'm just extremely happy that I can somehow be involved in what God is doing in yours, because it's incredible. Keep living out his word, and truly acting as His instrument, because it affects others in ways you can't even imagine.
The reason why I feel stupid is because I thought that whatever there was to know about grace I knew because I lived through it (a ridiculous statement, I know). And now I can clearly tell that God is reminding me about it, but I don't know if something will happen for which I will need it again or whether I need to use some on others. Or if it's just a friendly reminder: there's this topic that you, as My child, need to know about and always remember. Here's a review... Has anyone else ever had that happen in their walk with God? You'd think that He would keep talking until I got exactly what's up. And He does do that when I need answers for specifics in my life. But not when it's global themes like this. THIS He likes to switch around all the time. He spends maybe a month to a month and a half on a topic and then changes it up. And I don't know why!!! I remember the topics for a long time, as you can tell. I just don't know where exactly to use them or whether I'm supposed to at all. But back to grace.
Growing up in a Christian home, I've always been aware of the word. I understood it in my mind as a concept applicable to sinners. I never really tied it to love until God drove the point home in the way that I least expected. But that's the best thing about grace I guess. You never expect it. I really wish that I could share all the details of my experience with the world, but for fear that it might be taken the wrong way, I will stick to general concepts and lessons learned.
I have sinned against God once again, and once again I was remorseful and wallowing in guilt because of what I've done. But the worst thing was that I didn't feel like I had the power to truly carry out my promise, once again, to never repeat that sin. God knew it too, and in my heart, I knew that there would be repercussions for what I've done. I also sensed exactly what it was going to be. I'd have to give up one of the ministries that I was involved in -- the one I loved the most and it appeared unthinkable to drop. Months passed, as God graciously prepared my heart and mind for the realization that it will truly happen. Once I settled with the thought that I will have to leave, He carried out His discipline and took that ministry away. But the people involved didn't exactly act like instruments in His hands. What the people thought I'd done wasn't true in the slightest bit. A lot of slander and gossip was involved, as they acted exactly like the people from Psalm 68:26 "To the one You have punished, they add insult to injury; they add to the pain of those You have hurt."
Through my walk with God I knew that the only thing that matters is where I stand before Him rather than what the people think. Thoroughly confused though about what I've really done and what others were saying I've done, I ran to Him fully expecting, ready for, and open to condemnation, rebuke, and judgment, since that's what the people around me were expressing. What I unexpectedly found instead was a shower of grace poured out on my life through my personal reading and through the sermons I heard at all sorts of different churches and services. The message I got was loud and clear. I love you. I know about all of the sins that you have committed and will commit. And I've loved you even before you were born all the while knowing about that. That's why I sent My Son to take your place. I don't love you any less when you have sinned or any more when you don't. I am your father, and although I discipline you, I will ALWAYS keep loving you the same way, regardless of your actions against Me. When you take one step back towards Me, I will run to you and embrace you in My loving arms to comfort, protect, and provide for you. I'm glad you returned to Me again, and all I want to do now is show you My heavenly love...
Of course that made me realize how grace works on an entirely different level. And I guess a healthy reminder never hurt anyone. I'd like to thank my Mars Hill small group for inspiring me to write about this. And Katy. Girl you've been a blessing in my life on more than one occasion and I'm just extremely happy that I can somehow be involved in what God is doing in yours, because it's incredible. Keep living out his word, and truly acting as His instrument, because it affects others in ways you can't even imagine.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Resentment and Restoration
Last night was amazing. I am blessed to be part of a prayer group in which we openly talk about our lives and problems and pray over each other. Due to an unexpected increase in traffic to my profile yesterday, I suddenly realized that what I write on my blogs is also a ministry that I need to pray for and dedicate to God, acknowledging Him in all my ways. The prayer that one of the girls said for that ministry was convicting for me. She asked God to speak through me and touch others' lives, so that my posts won't be based even on personal experience, but on His word, and His inspiration.
I don't believe she meant using situations from the past as examples. It seems more likely that my unresolved feelings of resentment towards certain people might have taken over the voice of the Lord in some of my writing. So I would like to apologize for that being the case. I will not take anything I wrote off my blog. I believe that the bad feelings we work through are also part of our walk with Christ, and people need to know that everyone faces challenges and isn't perfect. I also believe that sometimes our passionate jealousy for the truth of God's word isn't a bad thing, and needs to be expressed, even if it might go against tradition and generally accepted views.
I would like to own up to having resentment in my heart though. I actually just discovered it for certain people last week. For the past two or three years I've been stifling my resentment and trying to forget about those people and their actions, but a miniscule comment made it all rush back, overtaking my mind like a river that suddenly floods. What I needed to do all these years is not hide my resentment. I needed to bring it to God, confess it as a sin, and ask for forgiveness and help to work through it! God has done an amazing job of restoring my life in every single aspect of it. He continues to work. And boy does He have a lot to work on. Things from the past have been coming back to me lately. Feelings that need to be dealt with once and for all have been surfacing out of nowhere. It's difficult, but I am learning to fully rely on the Holy Spirit, and it's with His power that I deal with those feelings, not my own. (Obviously my own power only made them go away for a little bit.)
I'm not sure exactly what steps I need to take to have peace about certain situations that took place in my life. But it's one more thing that I'm praying about, and I believe that He will direct my path. Because nothing is impossible for God, and He can heal a broken heart and fill it with love for EVERYONE.
I don't believe she meant using situations from the past as examples. It seems more likely that my unresolved feelings of resentment towards certain people might have taken over the voice of the Lord in some of my writing. So I would like to apologize for that being the case. I will not take anything I wrote off my blog. I believe that the bad feelings we work through are also part of our walk with Christ, and people need to know that everyone faces challenges and isn't perfect. I also believe that sometimes our passionate jealousy for the truth of God's word isn't a bad thing, and needs to be expressed, even if it might go against tradition and generally accepted views.
I would like to own up to having resentment in my heart though. I actually just discovered it for certain people last week. For the past two or three years I've been stifling my resentment and trying to forget about those people and their actions, but a miniscule comment made it all rush back, overtaking my mind like a river that suddenly floods. What I needed to do all these years is not hide my resentment. I needed to bring it to God, confess it as a sin, and ask for forgiveness and help to work through it! God has done an amazing job of restoring my life in every single aspect of it. He continues to work. And boy does He have a lot to work on. Things from the past have been coming back to me lately. Feelings that need to be dealt with once and for all have been surfacing out of nowhere. It's difficult, but I am learning to fully rely on the Holy Spirit, and it's with His power that I deal with those feelings, not my own. (Obviously my own power only made them go away for a little bit.)
I'm not sure exactly what steps I need to take to have peace about certain situations that took place in my life. But it's one more thing that I'm praying about, and I believe that He will direct my path. Because nothing is impossible for God, and He can heal a broken heart and fill it with love for EVERYONE.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
God Talking
I don't even know where to start describing to you the last twenty-four hours of my life. All I can say is that God has been talking and answering prayer, in the most awesome, unimaginable, and direct ways ever. He has also been showing His LOVE. And pouring an abundance of it into my life, as well as the life of those people close to me.
Ever since I came back from my hometown of Latvia, I've been praying specifically for the desire to Worship in my heart to come to fruitition. I've been praying for getting the right resources, meeting the right people, and ending up at the right places to be able to make what's in my head come to life. Yesterday God answered part of that prayer. I was blessed to attend a Mars Hill small group, that will probably end up being home for a long time. When we were voicing our prayer requests, the darling person who invited me there turned to me and asked if I have a keyboard at my new place. After figuring out that I don't, he immediately offered me one -- apparently sitting in his garage with no use for a while! Immediate answer to prayer? I think so! (And boy is that keyboard about to become useful for Christ!)
While reading my bible at night before bed, the verse that God gave me, written in Psalm 57:7 can be paraphrased in this way: "My heart is ready! So I will worship and sing You praises!" Could He be MORE direct in regards to what's going on in my life? My heart IS ready! And He is loving enough to point out that He noticed and cares!
This morning my friend and I were discussing the goodness of God and how when He talks He speaks DIRECTLY to people. I was voicing some concerns about His calling in my life, and the exact next steps I need to take -- especially in regards to the aforementioned music ministry. Upon returning to my computer, I saw a message from a friend back in Latvia, asking me for guitar chords of a specific song that the Holy Spirit gave me and I sang at my home church. God couldn't be more specific in His direction! He truly directs your path if you acknowledge Him and specifically ask for it!
Other things have happened that either I or the small groups I am in have been praying for recently. Basically, the power of God is moving RIGHT NOW, and it's not a cliché! He is talking to many people right this moment, seeking ways to show His love for every single person living on this earth! And filling His children with that supernatural love and joy so that they can share it with everyone around. God is doing His work and speaking His word! All you gotta do is LISTEN and seek Him out!
Ever since I came back from my hometown of Latvia, I've been praying specifically for the desire to Worship in my heart to come to fruitition. I've been praying for getting the right resources, meeting the right people, and ending up at the right places to be able to make what's in my head come to life. Yesterday God answered part of that prayer. I was blessed to attend a Mars Hill small group, that will probably end up being home for a long time. When we were voicing our prayer requests, the darling person who invited me there turned to me and asked if I have a keyboard at my new place. After figuring out that I don't, he immediately offered me one -- apparently sitting in his garage with no use for a while! Immediate answer to prayer? I think so! (And boy is that keyboard about to become useful for Christ!)
While reading my bible at night before bed, the verse that God gave me, written in Psalm 57:7 can be paraphrased in this way: "My heart is ready! So I will worship and sing You praises!" Could He be MORE direct in regards to what's going on in my life? My heart IS ready! And He is loving enough to point out that He noticed and cares!
This morning my friend and I were discussing the goodness of God and how when He talks He speaks DIRECTLY to people. I was voicing some concerns about His calling in my life, and the exact next steps I need to take -- especially in regards to the aforementioned music ministry. Upon returning to my computer, I saw a message from a friend back in Latvia, asking me for guitar chords of a specific song that the Holy Spirit gave me and I sang at my home church. God couldn't be more specific in His direction! He truly directs your path if you acknowledge Him and specifically ask for it!
Other things have happened that either I or the small groups I am in have been praying for recently. Basically, the power of God is moving RIGHT NOW, and it's not a cliché! He is talking to many people right this moment, seeking ways to show His love for every single person living on this earth! And filling His children with that supernatural love and joy so that they can share it with everyone around. God is doing His work and speaking His word! All you gotta do is LISTEN and seek Him out!
A Sheltered Life
Facebook is great! No matter what legalists living in the stone age say, it's a great tool to communicate with friends all over the place, as well as find out certain things about yourself. I just took one of those "analyzing your friends stats" quizzes, which brought me confirmation of what I already knew. And that is, that most Christians are living a sheltered life within their church, unwilling or unable to get out of the bubble and love the "outside" world.
Basically one of the stats in the quiz was a breakdown of your friends' political views. The ones I've seen posted by Christian acquaintances have been ridiculously similar so far. 75%+ republicans. The best was 92%. (And yes, I am aware that it depends on where they live. That's what makes it so shocking! "They," for the most part, live in WA, RI and NY! Where do you even FIND so many republicans to be friends with in those states?!) From this demographic breakdown it is evident not that most republicans are Christian, but that most Christians are republican! It further shows that they are more willing to associate with others who are of "like mind" and are terrified of venturing out of their comfort zone. Here's why that's bad:
Not only do democrats not bite and are actually great people when you get to know and love them, but my darling Christian republicans -- you are getting no experience standing up for your faith! It's SO easy to hold up certain values and beliefs when everyone you surround yourself with thinks the same way and supports you 100% (wait... 92%. My bad.) Try doing it when you're alone.
Please bare with me while I selfishly use this quiz to alleviate myself of guilt that the devil has been using to oppress me. For a long time I've been tripping over the fact that when I end up having to stand up for my faith, it's always so difficult for me to do. I've struggled with guilt over situations when I've passed on opportunities to witness to people because of fear. I've also felt guilty about being afraid to publish certain values and beliefs that I uphold. You see, I always thought that it's wrong that I don't speak out as easily as others do, and that there's always an internal struggle that has to go on before I open my mouth or strike the keys. But now I see that I was horribly harsh on myself. Because my demographics showed that I'm friends with 73% democrats and 27% republicans! Which means that I have approximately 50% more chance of being scorned for what I uphold than an average Christian. I know that it's selfish, but I'm just gonna be happy about my discovery now because condemnation of guilt is freaken awesome!
It also explains in a way why I don't ever feel like I fit into any particular church. Apparently I don't get along well with republicans. :) Of course, you can easily turn it around and say bad things about me based on these stats. But I'm just gonna let you come up with them yourself and not put ideas in your head.
Disclaimer: This post is not intended to say that being a republican or a democrat is bad or good. I did not say I was either democrat or republican, so don't assume things. The post makes no claims that democrats can't be Christian or Christians can't be democrats. I love (SO much) the people who hold both democratic and republican views, as well as everyone in between!
Basically one of the stats in the quiz was a breakdown of your friends' political views. The ones I've seen posted by Christian acquaintances have been ridiculously similar so far. 75%+ republicans. The best was 92%. (And yes, I am aware that it depends on where they live. That's what makes it so shocking! "They," for the most part, live in WA, RI and NY! Where do you even FIND so many republicans to be friends with in those states?!) From this demographic breakdown it is evident not that most republicans are Christian, but that most Christians are republican! It further shows that they are more willing to associate with others who are of "like mind" and are terrified of venturing out of their comfort zone. Here's why that's bad:
Not only do democrats not bite and are actually great people when you get to know and love them, but my darling Christian republicans -- you are getting no experience standing up for your faith! It's SO easy to hold up certain values and beliefs when everyone you surround yourself with thinks the same way and supports you 100% (wait... 92%. My bad.) Try doing it when you're alone.
Please bare with me while I selfishly use this quiz to alleviate myself of guilt that the devil has been using to oppress me. For a long time I've been tripping over the fact that when I end up having to stand up for my faith, it's always so difficult for me to do. I've struggled with guilt over situations when I've passed on opportunities to witness to people because of fear. I've also felt guilty about being afraid to publish certain values and beliefs that I uphold. You see, I always thought that it's wrong that I don't speak out as easily as others do, and that there's always an internal struggle that has to go on before I open my mouth or strike the keys. But now I see that I was horribly harsh on myself. Because my demographics showed that I'm friends with 73% democrats and 27% republicans! Which means that I have approximately 50% more chance of being scorned for what I uphold than an average Christian. I know that it's selfish, but I'm just gonna be happy about my discovery now because condemnation of guilt is freaken awesome!
It also explains in a way why I don't ever feel like I fit into any particular church. Apparently I don't get along well with republicans. :) Of course, you can easily turn it around and say bad things about me based on these stats. But I'm just gonna let you come up with them yourself and not put ideas in your head.
Disclaimer: This post is not intended to say that being a republican or a democrat is bad or good. I did not say I was either democrat or republican, so don't assume things. The post makes no claims that democrats can't be Christian or Christians can't be democrats. I love (SO much) the people who hold both democratic and republican views, as well as everyone in between!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Music Musings
My friend's visit two weekends ago has blessed me in more than one way. Contemplations of those blessings will probably be evident in my writing for weeks to come. One of the major things she did is remind me, for the umpteenth time, about my dedication to keep the music I listen to clean. Now, this project is a lifetime endeavor. I have struggled with it for YEARS. But every time the battle becomes easier and easier to win. The enemy though, never ceases to amaze me with all sorts of new methods of attack! Conversely, God is always great in providing the strength for winning each and every single one of them. It's true that the only way to win those battles is to let the Holy Spirit fight for you instead of doing it on your own! But one of the major thoughts that has helped me in this fight, as well as others, is that Jesus already won the battle on the cross! We are no slaves to sin now. We actually have the power and the choice to say no to it!
But back to music I go. The first time I heard the call of the Spirit to give up all secular music, I was shocked. I was definitely not prepared to do so right away either. I struggled with the thought for a couple years, before I finally gave in one day. Yes. YEARS. Don't judge me. You have no idea how much I love music. Love is not even the word. I am jealous about music. I am jealous about its quality, harmony, melody and rhythm. And would you PLEASE finally admit that there is WAY less quality Christian music available than secular one. And keep in mind that my narrow-minded self only likes rap, hip-hop and R&B, and not so much rock and alternative -- the directions most popular Christian artists tend to choose.
Especially in Russian churches, a popular belief is that we should worship God in "simplicity and humility". Making music that requires a little more thought, work, talent, or education, is generally frowned upon. As a result, Russian music is for the most part at least a couple decades behind modern technology used to create soundtracks and to record. There are, of course, notable exceptions. But I can probably name all of them off the top of my head. And five fingers would be enough to finish counting. (If you know something I don't know, PLEASE do tell. I am most certainly still on the lookout for good Russian Christian music!)
American music is of course more widely available, but still doesn't even compare in its amounts to what the world has to offer. This said, of course it took me forever to finally give in to the call of the Spirit to give up my HUGE music collection and narrow it down to just Christian artists, which constituted about 1/20th of it. But one day I did it -- erasing everything secular I had in i-tunes, and destroying any secular cd's that I owned. Difficult? You bet! But what relief I remember feeling after I was done! It always feels GOOD to finally obey God. It's never easy though.
A clean i-pod though, as good as it was of a start, was just a start. On days a bad mood struck, I would find myself rushing to the radio stations, abundantly fruitful in supplying "instant fix" music that filled the soul for a couple days, but left me more empty in the long run, as well as more distant from God. Friends back then definitely didn't share my conviction to clean up the music act, making avoiding it even more difficult. What's the point of having a clean i-pod if you are spending more than half your life in cars with people who are dedicated to making theirs filthy? And no, my weak attempts to influence their decisions brought no results -- just utter annoyance, which I actually shared deep deep deep down. It was like trying to quit smoking while living in the smoke room. Pretty soon I was back in the rut -- listening to whatever I wanted to. God, of course, worked through that road block as well -- in a painful way that you've all read about (or can read about in my post http://blogaboutfaith.blogspot.com/2009/09/faithful-friend.html).
But the enemy is only too resourceful. I soon found myself browsing youtube for music to serve as background while I accomplished meaningless data-entry tasks [that I have way too many of] at work. Since it wasn't i-pod or radio, I felt free to listen to whatever I want. (Don't you LOVE my logic? hehe) And then I found myself wondering why God felt distant. Of course, being as loving as He is, He showed me, once again, what the problem was. And once again I struggled to choose to give the music up. This rollercoaster has been going on since the first time I decided to dedicate my ears to God. But once again, it's been easier and easier to win every time. It takes way less time to realize now that I'm back to where I started. The internal struggle takes a lot less effort. So if you are going through something similar, please don't feel discouraged! PLEASE choose to obey God in this again and again, no matter how many times you get off track.
Let me tell you why. What you listen to has an enormous spiritual impact and influence over your life. That's why it can have such a strong hold on you and be so difficult to give up. The catch is that the spiritual part of it will want you back once you give up on it. So after you decide to get closer to God, it will attack you. For me, it's always very scarily, close to being literal. The enemy wants you to think that you will only feel comfortable when you are back to listening to all you want. But it's a lie. Because when it has a strong grip on you, it can torment you in ways that God will NEVER allow when you are in direct communication with Him. Sounds scary? It was terrifying for me.
For years, I would wake up at night, in panic and cold sweat because I felt aware that something/someone else was in the same room with me. Once awake, memories of stories heard as a child about seeing spiritual beings, as well as images from the only horror film I've ever seen (by accident too. Knowing about this phenomenon in my life, I knew to stay away at all costs.) would rush through my mind. I would lay paralyzed and mute, afraid to move or take a breath, praying in my head with all my might for God's protection over my house, my room, my bed, my body, and my mind. It took forever to link this fear to the music that I listened to. But once I realized it, giving up music didn't feel any easier for some reason. But finally doing so, in collaboration with each room in our house being prayed over before we moved in, made the episodes completely go away.
Right now I actually often feel the opposite way. Once I give up the music, the enemy attacks. Not nearly as strongly as before. But I start feeling depressed, incomplete, and fearful, and it takes a while to get through. What I know though, is that all the devil wants is for me to go back to the comfort zone of the music instead of running to God for protection, identity and joy. He wants the control he had through that music back in my life. And what I know is that I don't want it back in my life. True, it gives temporary satisfaction, but in the long run the effects are terrifying. If you are not feeling them, it only means that the enemy has numbed you. It DOES effect your life. In ways you don't even know. Maybe I was just blessed enough to feel those attacks in a more concrete way and to realize that it IS affecting me (no that I would want those "blessings" back by any means...)
For the millionth time, I am declaring that I give up listening to secular music. I hope this is the last time that lasts for good, but I don't want to be cocky. I am relying entirely on the Holy Spirit for strength to do this, and it's still not that easy. But I'd like to thank my girl Diana for encouraging me to do this once again. At least now I know that I'm not the only "weirdo" who thinks that God is serious in His call to keep what we listen to clean and destroy everything that's not. I have a lot of respect for you girl, and now you'll know that I totally understand what you went through by cleaning up your cd's. And all the rest of you... clean them up. Don't let the devil have a channel through which he controls your mind. It's not something to play with. It's something that can turn your life into a horror film.
But back to music I go. The first time I heard the call of the Spirit to give up all secular music, I was shocked. I was definitely not prepared to do so right away either. I struggled with the thought for a couple years, before I finally gave in one day. Yes. YEARS. Don't judge me. You have no idea how much I love music. Love is not even the word. I am jealous about music. I am jealous about its quality, harmony, melody and rhythm. And would you PLEASE finally admit that there is WAY less quality Christian music available than secular one. And keep in mind that my narrow-minded self only likes rap, hip-hop and R&B, and not so much rock and alternative -- the directions most popular Christian artists tend to choose.
Especially in Russian churches, a popular belief is that we should worship God in "simplicity and humility". Making music that requires a little more thought, work, talent, or education, is generally frowned upon. As a result, Russian music is for the most part at least a couple decades behind modern technology used to create soundtracks and to record. There are, of course, notable exceptions. But I can probably name all of them off the top of my head. And five fingers would be enough to finish counting. (If you know something I don't know, PLEASE do tell. I am most certainly still on the lookout for good Russian Christian music!)
American music is of course more widely available, but still doesn't even compare in its amounts to what the world has to offer. This said, of course it took me forever to finally give in to the call of the Spirit to give up my HUGE music collection and narrow it down to just Christian artists, which constituted about 1/20th of it. But one day I did it -- erasing everything secular I had in i-tunes, and destroying any secular cd's that I owned. Difficult? You bet! But what relief I remember feeling after I was done! It always feels GOOD to finally obey God. It's never easy though.
A clean i-pod though, as good as it was of a start, was just a start. On days a bad mood struck, I would find myself rushing to the radio stations, abundantly fruitful in supplying "instant fix" music that filled the soul for a couple days, but left me more empty in the long run, as well as more distant from God. Friends back then definitely didn't share my conviction to clean up the music act, making avoiding it even more difficult. What's the point of having a clean i-pod if you are spending more than half your life in cars with people who are dedicated to making theirs filthy? And no, my weak attempts to influence their decisions brought no results -- just utter annoyance, which I actually shared deep deep deep down. It was like trying to quit smoking while living in the smoke room. Pretty soon I was back in the rut -- listening to whatever I wanted to. God, of course, worked through that road block as well -- in a painful way that you've all read about (or can read about in my post http://blogaboutfaith.blogspot.com/2009/09/faithful-friend.html).
But the enemy is only too resourceful. I soon found myself browsing youtube for music to serve as background while I accomplished meaningless data-entry tasks [that I have way too many of] at work. Since it wasn't i-pod or radio, I felt free to listen to whatever I want. (Don't you LOVE my logic? hehe) And then I found myself wondering why God felt distant. Of course, being as loving as He is, He showed me, once again, what the problem was. And once again I struggled to choose to give the music up. This rollercoaster has been going on since the first time I decided to dedicate my ears to God. But once again, it's been easier and easier to win every time. It takes way less time to realize now that I'm back to where I started. The internal struggle takes a lot less effort. So if you are going through something similar, please don't feel discouraged! PLEASE choose to obey God in this again and again, no matter how many times you get off track.
Let me tell you why. What you listen to has an enormous spiritual impact and influence over your life. That's why it can have such a strong hold on you and be so difficult to give up. The catch is that the spiritual part of it will want you back once you give up on it. So after you decide to get closer to God, it will attack you. For me, it's always very scarily, close to being literal. The enemy wants you to think that you will only feel comfortable when you are back to listening to all you want. But it's a lie. Because when it has a strong grip on you, it can torment you in ways that God will NEVER allow when you are in direct communication with Him. Sounds scary? It was terrifying for me.
For years, I would wake up at night, in panic and cold sweat because I felt aware that something/someone else was in the same room with me. Once awake, memories of stories heard as a child about seeing spiritual beings, as well as images from the only horror film I've ever seen (by accident too. Knowing about this phenomenon in my life, I knew to stay away at all costs.) would rush through my mind. I would lay paralyzed and mute, afraid to move or take a breath, praying in my head with all my might for God's protection over my house, my room, my bed, my body, and my mind. It took forever to link this fear to the music that I listened to. But once I realized it, giving up music didn't feel any easier for some reason. But finally doing so, in collaboration with each room in our house being prayed over before we moved in, made the episodes completely go away.
Right now I actually often feel the opposite way. Once I give up the music, the enemy attacks. Not nearly as strongly as before. But I start feeling depressed, incomplete, and fearful, and it takes a while to get through. What I know though, is that all the devil wants is for me to go back to the comfort zone of the music instead of running to God for protection, identity and joy. He wants the control he had through that music back in my life. And what I know is that I don't want it back in my life. True, it gives temporary satisfaction, but in the long run the effects are terrifying. If you are not feeling them, it only means that the enemy has numbed you. It DOES effect your life. In ways you don't even know. Maybe I was just blessed enough to feel those attacks in a more concrete way and to realize that it IS affecting me (no that I would want those "blessings" back by any means...)
For the millionth time, I am declaring that I give up listening to secular music. I hope this is the last time that lasts for good, but I don't want to be cocky. I am relying entirely on the Holy Spirit for strength to do this, and it's still not that easy. But I'd like to thank my girl Diana for encouraging me to do this once again. At least now I know that I'm not the only "weirdo" who thinks that God is serious in His call to keep what we listen to clean and destroy everything that's not. I have a lot of respect for you girl, and now you'll know that I totally understand what you went through by cleaning up your cd's. And all the rest of you... clean them up. Don't let the devil have a channel through which he controls your mind. It's not something to play with. It's something that can turn your life into a horror film.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Encouraging Your Leaders
I was utterly shocked to hear that pastor Mark Driscoll actually read my blog. That's exciting, unexpected, surprising, revolutionary... But most of all, it's a revelation. Because the only reason he even knows about it is because I wrote him a message on facebook thanking him for inspiring me to start it. Which I would've never done, if my mom didn't prompt me by saying "You should let him know. Leaders always need encouragement."
To say that Pastor Mark is phenomenal would be a great understatement. But this situation made me realize that even phenomenal people might not realize that others think this way about them. (Who knew important Pastor Mark actually reads what people write on his facebook?) What they need is for us to let them know! The bible urges us to pray for our leaders. That would be everyone at work, church, and running the country/state/city. I would like to urge you to also let them know that you are praying for them, and that you think they're doing a great job.
Think you're not significant enough for your opinion to matter? You are wrong. A few words of encouragement can mean a day of effectiveness and productivity vs. a day of sulkiness and depression. The point is, that it doesn't take long to say or write a genuine note of thanks to a person, letting them know they've inspired you in some way, or simply that they're doing a good job. For them, it means the world.
Having been in ministry for a long time, I know how much words can mean. Too often, especially in Christian circles, we take all the time in the world to criticize someone else's work. Too seldom, we take a moment to encourage them. Too often, a minister or worker dedicates their life to a service in church going off nothing but the promise that God gave them that He will be with them at all times. But how much easier and more energetic would those people be if they had no doubt in their mind that someone needs the work they do!
I can't count the times I've been in tears because of certain situations touching my ministry. When it was regarding a kids group that I was blessed to work with for 2 years, what got me through is a collection of drawings that I've accumulated from those girls, letting me know that they love me and that I'm part of their life. Unfortunately, I had no similar collection to help me in any ministry involving grown-ups, which might be the reason why I was very eager to let it go when God released me from it.
Think of someone you respect and whose work you value in church, work, or any other area of life. Realize that they don't know that it means something to you. Let them know.
To say that Pastor Mark is phenomenal would be a great understatement. But this situation made me realize that even phenomenal people might not realize that others think this way about them. (Who knew important Pastor Mark actually reads what people write on his facebook?) What they need is for us to let them know! The bible urges us to pray for our leaders. That would be everyone at work, church, and running the country/state/city. I would like to urge you to also let them know that you are praying for them, and that you think they're doing a great job.
Think you're not significant enough for your opinion to matter? You are wrong. A few words of encouragement can mean a day of effectiveness and productivity vs. a day of sulkiness and depression. The point is, that it doesn't take long to say or write a genuine note of thanks to a person, letting them know they've inspired you in some way, or simply that they're doing a good job. For them, it means the world.
Having been in ministry for a long time, I know how much words can mean. Too often, especially in Christian circles, we take all the time in the world to criticize someone else's work. Too seldom, we take a moment to encourage them. Too often, a minister or worker dedicates their life to a service in church going off nothing but the promise that God gave them that He will be with them at all times. But how much easier and more energetic would those people be if they had no doubt in their mind that someone needs the work they do!
I can't count the times I've been in tears because of certain situations touching my ministry. When it was regarding a kids group that I was blessed to work with for 2 years, what got me through is a collection of drawings that I've accumulated from those girls, letting me know that they love me and that I'm part of their life. Unfortunately, I had no similar collection to help me in any ministry involving grown-ups, which might be the reason why I was very eager to let it go when God released me from it.
Think of someone you respect and whose work you value in church, work, or any other area of life. Realize that they don't know that it means something to you. Let them know.
Monday, September 21, 2009
"Abortion is a sin. It's a sin of murder. "
I don't really know what to say about this, other than when pastor Mark said those words yesterday at church, I immediately felt like I should post them as my status on facebook. Did I follow the call of the Spirit? Not so much. You see, I live in SEATTLE. The most pro-grass anti-baby city in the United States, perhaps. God... He always asks us to do things that are so uncomfortable!
But now that the status is on my page and I'm fearfully awaiting replies of condemnation... Here are the views that I've formed on this topic, after painful research and a lot of analysis. They are, of course, much easier said than done, and I really really hope that I will never be in a situation to have to prove how strong my convictions are.
Abortion is NEVER an option in my mind. I'm not even going to go into serious discussion about such weak arguments as "not being ready" for a baby and a woman's right to choose. I'm very pro a woman's right to choose. Execute that right when you are deciding to be promiscuous and have sex before marriage. Execute that right to think about the consequences of your actions before you jump into bed with a man who doesn't want to father a child and is not your husband. If you are married and still not ready for a baby and it comes anyways... Hopefully you have considered that there IS a chance of that. Is financial stability or a career really worth more than a LIFE to you?
The more difficult arguments are the ones worthy of discussion. What if you were raped?
My take is to still keep the child. It's not the baby's fault. And no matter how unfathomably painful it was, is, or will be... know that God can turn people's sin against you into a good thing. He never meant for you to get hurt in such an inhumane way. And it wasn't your choice to conceive. But it IS your choice to keep a life. I don't really want to go into more discussion about this because I don't want to seem insensitive or unloving to victims of rape. I have no understanding of what they go through, and I actually hope to never gain that understanding. All I want them to know is that I've thought and prayed about this for a long time, and it's not a fed-from-the-pulpit cliché that I'm repeating to appear righteous.
Another situation I hope to never be in is having to choose between your life and the babies'. What if the doctors say that if there is no abortion, the mother will die from complications? If the baby lives, I'm ready to give up my life for him or her. But what if there's very small chance that either one survives? Then take it. Take the chance that your child will live. Once again, this is a complicated, complicated matter that I feel like I have no right to talk about because I've never been in either situation, and hope to never have to be in it. But I feel convicted to state my beliefs. So here they all are.
If you have more arguments, opinions, or situations, please PLEASE comment! I would like to be aware of them, if nothing else, because this is a topic I actually care about quite a bit. Even though it took a lot of guts to bring it up.
But now that the status is on my page and I'm fearfully awaiting replies of condemnation... Here are the views that I've formed on this topic, after painful research and a lot of analysis. They are, of course, much easier said than done, and I really really hope that I will never be in a situation to have to prove how strong my convictions are.
Abortion is NEVER an option in my mind. I'm not even going to go into serious discussion about such weak arguments as "not being ready" for a baby and a woman's right to choose. I'm very pro a woman's right to choose. Execute that right when you are deciding to be promiscuous and have sex before marriage. Execute that right to think about the consequences of your actions before you jump into bed with a man who doesn't want to father a child and is not your husband. If you are married and still not ready for a baby and it comes anyways... Hopefully you have considered that there IS a chance of that. Is financial stability or a career really worth more than a LIFE to you?
The more difficult arguments are the ones worthy of discussion. What if you were raped?
My take is to still keep the child. It's not the baby's fault. And no matter how unfathomably painful it was, is, or will be... know that God can turn people's sin against you into a good thing. He never meant for you to get hurt in such an inhumane way. And it wasn't your choice to conceive. But it IS your choice to keep a life. I don't really want to go into more discussion about this because I don't want to seem insensitive or unloving to victims of rape. I have no understanding of what they go through, and I actually hope to never gain that understanding. All I want them to know is that I've thought and prayed about this for a long time, and it's not a fed-from-the-pulpit cliché that I'm repeating to appear righteous.
Another situation I hope to never be in is having to choose between your life and the babies'. What if the doctors say that if there is no abortion, the mother will die from complications? If the baby lives, I'm ready to give up my life for him or her. But what if there's very small chance that either one survives? Then take it. Take the chance that your child will live. Once again, this is a complicated, complicated matter that I feel like I have no right to talk about because I've never been in either situation, and hope to never have to be in it. But I feel convicted to state my beliefs. So here they all are.
If you have more arguments, opinions, or situations, please PLEASE comment! I would like to be aware of them, if nothing else, because this is a topic I actually care about quite a bit. Even though it took a lot of guts to bring it up.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Faithful Friend
So I spent a good couple hours writing, proof reading, and editing a really heartfelt post. And then it got erased. At first I figured it's not meant to be. But after a little analysis I figured someone must have REALLY needed to hear what I had to say, and the enemy was, of course, there to meddle and disrupt things. Fortunately, God has blessed us with a wonderful capability called "memory." So after a few minutes I was able to restore, pretty accurately, what I have written before. So here is, to the best of my ability, a heartfelt post dedicated to all my friends.
In fear that if a non-believer should read it, it might turn them off to church completely, I still published my previous post. I want to be open about all of my experiences in the walk with God. But immediately after publishing it, and as if to counter-balance what it said, God has placed a desire on my heart to share the miracle that he has accomplished in my life in the past year. That miracle is true, fulfilling, God-centered friendships. And not just a couple of them.
It all started last November, when I dedicated my life to Christ at the Disciple's conference in Everett, WA. That's not when I got saved. I've been saved and serving since I was 10. This call was to fully commit our entire lives to God, holding nothing back, and after a heck of an internal struggle, I did it. And that changed EVERYTHING.
My pointless lifestyle was the first thing that had to go. I am not saying that it was bad, because it wasn't. I wasn't getting drunk, smoking, doing drugs or sleeping around. But my life wasn't centered around Christ. Music, coffee, hanging out, doing stuff -- yes. But Christ wasn't in on it all. And any attempts to bring Him in felt awkward, unwanted and unwelcome. So I gradually detached myself.
It felt like ripping duct tape off a fresh burn. Growing apart with friends who have been there through thick and thin inflicted insane amounts of pain. It's not like any of us planned for it -- at least I didn't. But more and more I felt like I didn't belong. And that translated into my relationships. Friendships started feeling unnatural and less and less open. Eventually, they withered away. And was I happy about all the time I suddenly had to spend with Jesus? Not at the least.
I felt unloved, unwanted, betrayed, uncertain, insecure, bored, lonely and alone. The world as I knew it for three years slowly fell apart. But I was determined not to go back to it, no matter how out of my comfort zone it all felt. And Jesus was determined to help me. The biggest fear of mine was not being invited places and having anything to do on a given night. The thought of having nowhere to go on a weekend threw me into panic. (Never mind that the few weekends I did spend at home in the past were the most revitalizing and relaxing ones ever!) But by God's grace my fear didn't realize even once since I left my comfy crowd. And by now, I can actually safely say that it's completely gone.
Another thing that killed were all the memories of old friends and moments springing up around every corner throughout the city. For a while I didn't even want to consider getting to know anyone new. All I needed were MY girls. But once I gave people a chance, God poured amazing friendships into my life. Some were brand new. Some were restored. Some I didn't put as much effort into as I should have (But I'm hoping it's not too late! Ana, Ani, Ally...) And some turned into something amazing that I never knew existed before -- friendships where Christ was the center. It's priceless when you can tell a friend anything and their first reaction is to pray with you and for you. You can't buy a friend who will tell you the honest truth and you will trust it because you know they are in a loving relationship with Christ and are saying things to you out of love instead of spitefulness, resentment, or selfishness. It's indescribable when Christ is the glue that holds a friendship together. Because that glue is eternal, and will never go away, no matter what happens.
I'll admit. I'm not as emotionally attached to... or I should rather say dependent on... any of my girls right now as I was on the friends before. But I am actually being deliberately careful not to allow that again, because the only individual on whom we should depend is Christ. He is the only faithful friend we can ever fully count on. But at least I know now that my desire to cultivate a frienship around Christ is reciprocated by the other side. That we can be honest and open with one another without holding anything back. And I learned that apparently I have a lot more of myself to give to others than I ever imagined I had time and energy for. I am praying for, and excited for what God has in store for each and every one of those new relationships. The pain from my past is almost gone, and instead I now have overwhelming joy that only God can give. There isn't a day though when I don't pray for my old relationships to be restored. But only in Him.
To all my loves -- old and new: Jenny, Eva, Dina, Diana, Tane4ka, Inna, Anna, Veroni4ka, Vika, Anya, Melissa, Tembi, Carlette, Lido4ka, Alenka, Liduska, Lyuba, Angela, Jennster, Sveto4ka, Ira, Sonka, Natashka, Maria, Aryana, Ana, Katy, and Ally.
In fear that if a non-believer should read it, it might turn them off to church completely, I still published my previous post. I want to be open about all of my experiences in the walk with God. But immediately after publishing it, and as if to counter-balance what it said, God has placed a desire on my heart to share the miracle that he has accomplished in my life in the past year. That miracle is true, fulfilling, God-centered friendships. And not just a couple of them.
It all started last November, when I dedicated my life to Christ at the Disciple's conference in Everett, WA. That's not when I got saved. I've been saved and serving since I was 10. This call was to fully commit our entire lives to God, holding nothing back, and after a heck of an internal struggle, I did it. And that changed EVERYTHING.
My pointless lifestyle was the first thing that had to go. I am not saying that it was bad, because it wasn't. I wasn't getting drunk, smoking, doing drugs or sleeping around. But my life wasn't centered around Christ. Music, coffee, hanging out, doing stuff -- yes. But Christ wasn't in on it all. And any attempts to bring Him in felt awkward, unwanted and unwelcome. So I gradually detached myself.
It felt like ripping duct tape off a fresh burn. Growing apart with friends who have been there through thick and thin inflicted insane amounts of pain. It's not like any of us planned for it -- at least I didn't. But more and more I felt like I didn't belong. And that translated into my relationships. Friendships started feeling unnatural and less and less open. Eventually, they withered away. And was I happy about all the time I suddenly had to spend with Jesus? Not at the least.
I felt unloved, unwanted, betrayed, uncertain, insecure, bored, lonely and alone. The world as I knew it for three years slowly fell apart. But I was determined not to go back to it, no matter how out of my comfort zone it all felt. And Jesus was determined to help me. The biggest fear of mine was not being invited places and having anything to do on a given night. The thought of having nowhere to go on a weekend threw me into panic. (Never mind that the few weekends I did spend at home in the past were the most revitalizing and relaxing ones ever!) But by God's grace my fear didn't realize even once since I left my comfy crowd. And by now, I can actually safely say that it's completely gone.
Another thing that killed were all the memories of old friends and moments springing up around every corner throughout the city. For a while I didn't even want to consider getting to know anyone new. All I needed were MY girls. But once I gave people a chance, God poured amazing friendships into my life. Some were brand new. Some were restored. Some I didn't put as much effort into as I should have (But I'm hoping it's not too late! Ana, Ani, Ally...) And some turned into something amazing that I never knew existed before -- friendships where Christ was the center. It's priceless when you can tell a friend anything and their first reaction is to pray with you and for you. You can't buy a friend who will tell you the honest truth and you will trust it because you know they are in a loving relationship with Christ and are saying things to you out of love instead of spitefulness, resentment, or selfishness. It's indescribable when Christ is the glue that holds a friendship together. Because that glue is eternal, and will never go away, no matter what happens.
I'll admit. I'm not as emotionally attached to... or I should rather say dependent on... any of my girls right now as I was on the friends before. But I am actually being deliberately careful not to allow that again, because the only individual on whom we should depend is Christ. He is the only faithful friend we can ever fully count on. But at least I know now that my desire to cultivate a frienship around Christ is reciprocated by the other side. That we can be honest and open with one another without holding anything back. And I learned that apparently I have a lot more of myself to give to others than I ever imagined I had time and energy for. I am praying for, and excited for what God has in store for each and every one of those new relationships. The pain from my past is almost gone, and instead I now have overwhelming joy that only God can give. There isn't a day though when I don't pray for my old relationships to be restored. But only in Him.
To all my loves -- old and new: Jenny, Eva, Dina, Diana, Tane4ka, Inna, Anna, Veroni4ka, Vika, Anya, Melissa, Tembi, Carlette, Lido4ka, Alenka, Liduska, Lyuba, Angela, Jennster, Sveto4ka, Ira, Sonka, Natashka, Maria, Aryana, Ana, Katy, and Ally.
Loving One Another
I'll make up for my silence yesterday (was being productive at work) and write two posts today. This topic is relevant to so many people, that I don't understand why this is still even an issue. An unfathomable amount of us out there doesn't feel comfortable around our brothers and sisters in Christ. I will admit, I am among the first ones in line. There's barely a youth gathering that doesn't make me feel defensive, and lost at what to do, what to say, and how to act. The reason I see behind this is simply the narrow-mindedness of people stuck in the same denomination, and sometimes even the same church, since birth. Don't get me wrong, they are totally loving and accepting. But only to those who think the same way and have the same point of view as them on all topics.
I think that it's incredibly stupid to think that Baptists/Pentecostals/Calvinists/Anythingelseists are the only collections of humans that will go to heaven. The irony is that all denominations actually think THE SAME in that respect, and only a select few individuals dare to have a different opinion. But even if they do, it's usually expressed in a way that clearly underlines the superiority of THEIR denomination. Knowing good Christians in another denomination is admitted to with a clear understanding that it will extract shock from co-denominational audience. And certainly as an exception -- not the rule.
Simple inconsideration is often passed for fervor to stand up for the truth. A recent example of that happened right in my backyard, when six Baptist men attacked my friend from a conservative Calvinist church about the topic of pre-destination. She stood her ground, and actually expressed joy over the fact that they are interested in this topic instead of a worldly discussion of jobs and school. But the fact stays the same. They ganged up on her, which wasn't a loving thing to do. It made her feel unwelcome, it made them feel uncomfortable, and it made me, as a host, completely at a loss for words and actions. True, uncomfortable topics need to be brought up. But such a debate as pre-destination -- unsolved for CENTURIES (probably for a reason!) -- was not going to be settled upon in a couple hours by the fire by a group of twenty-somethings!
It would have been much better if instead the topic we talked about was Christs' sacrifice for ALL of us. The forgiveness of sin, and the eternal life that He allowed us to gain through his death and resurrection. The topic that unites all denominations and that SHOULD be the main focus of any group of Christians coming together. It all comes down to that same commandment that Jesus left us in the New Testament... to LOVE. If we all remembered that when we came together, life would be so much easier, and everyone would feel SO much more accepted in the place where love and acceptance should reign more than in any other on earth!
Once someone told me golden words of wisdom: "Do not expect anything from anyone." They do make life much easier. But when over, and over, I go into bible studies, youth services, and bonfires expecting nothing good... It's just sad.
I think that it's incredibly stupid to think that Baptists/Pentecostals/Calvinists/Anythingelseists are the only collections of humans that will go to heaven. The irony is that all denominations actually think THE SAME in that respect, and only a select few individuals dare to have a different opinion. But even if they do, it's usually expressed in a way that clearly underlines the superiority of THEIR denomination. Knowing good Christians in another denomination is admitted to with a clear understanding that it will extract shock from co-denominational audience. And certainly as an exception -- not the rule.
Simple inconsideration is often passed for fervor to stand up for the truth. A recent example of that happened right in my backyard, when six Baptist men attacked my friend from a conservative Calvinist church about the topic of pre-destination. She stood her ground, and actually expressed joy over the fact that they are interested in this topic instead of a worldly discussion of jobs and school. But the fact stays the same. They ganged up on her, which wasn't a loving thing to do. It made her feel unwelcome, it made them feel uncomfortable, and it made me, as a host, completely at a loss for words and actions. True, uncomfortable topics need to be brought up. But such a debate as pre-destination -- unsolved for CENTURIES (probably for a reason!) -- was not going to be settled upon in a couple hours by the fire by a group of twenty-somethings!
It would have been much better if instead the topic we talked about was Christs' sacrifice for ALL of us. The forgiveness of sin, and the eternal life that He allowed us to gain through his death and resurrection. The topic that unites all denominations and that SHOULD be the main focus of any group of Christians coming together. It all comes down to that same commandment that Jesus left us in the New Testament... to LOVE. If we all remembered that when we came together, life would be so much easier, and everyone would feel SO much more accepted in the place where love and acceptance should reign more than in any other on earth!
Once someone told me golden words of wisdom: "Do not expect anything from anyone." They do make life much easier. But when over, and over, I go into bible studies, youth services, and bonfires expecting nothing good... It's just sad.
The Living Word
God has always been gracious to me in a sense that His word is never silent. I've heard lots and LOTS of stories about the bible stopping to speak after the person has been reading it for a while. It would be easy to judge and look for faults in the people to whom God stopped speaking. Except I don't think they are exaggerating, and the only thing I pray for that it NEVER happens to me. And it hasn't yet, for which I am indescribably grateful to Him.
In fact, sometimes He is so loud and clear that you can't hold back the tears because of His goodness. Yesterday for the first time in my life I cried at His words. It was truly a moving moment for me, in a sense that His reply was so immediate, so direct, and so affirmative. This is what happened:
I jotted down two sentences in my journal. "Today I realized that I would give up anything for worship. Not for singing on stage, but for the pure heart and connection with God through which others can also be blessed." Well, God must have liked that. A lot. Because the next thing I knew, He was speaking to me through His word. I opened my bible on Psalm 42 (Russian Psalm 41.) The last verse read "I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!" Could He be more clear?! Of course, at this point I was bawling, because an immediate, clear, and direct promise like that was unexpected, at the least. The strongest confirmation of Him speaking to me was the fact that I actually read the same psalm the night before and the verse definitely didn't jump out then. I read over it, like anything else, and went to sleep untouched.
Immediately after realizing what God is saying I wrote down how awesome He is. The best thing was that He didn't stop at that one verse. I kept reading. And low and behold, the very next psalm ended in... the same exact words! Not too many times God repeats himself. It was like a confirmation -- you are listening right. I AM speaking to you. I did NOT forsake you, you are My child, and I value our relationship and your praise. More than you can ever imagine. Enough to speak to you directly through My word.
When you seek God, run to Him, and open up your heart... He speaks. All you gotta do is listen.
In fact, sometimes He is so loud and clear that you can't hold back the tears because of His goodness. Yesterday for the first time in my life I cried at His words. It was truly a moving moment for me, in a sense that His reply was so immediate, so direct, and so affirmative. This is what happened:
I jotted down two sentences in my journal. "Today I realized that I would give up anything for worship. Not for singing on stage, but for the pure heart and connection with God through which others can also be blessed." Well, God must have liked that. A lot. Because the next thing I knew, He was speaking to me through His word. I opened my bible on Psalm 42 (Russian Psalm 41.) The last verse read "I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!" Could He be more clear?! Of course, at this point I was bawling, because an immediate, clear, and direct promise like that was unexpected, at the least. The strongest confirmation of Him speaking to me was the fact that I actually read the same psalm the night before and the verse definitely didn't jump out then. I read over it, like anything else, and went to sleep untouched.
Immediately after realizing what God is saying I wrote down how awesome He is. The best thing was that He didn't stop at that one verse. I kept reading. And low and behold, the very next psalm ended in... the same exact words! Not too many times God repeats himself. It was like a confirmation -- you are listening right. I AM speaking to you. I did NOT forsake you, you are My child, and I value our relationship and your praise. More than you can ever imagine. Enough to speak to you directly through My word.
When you seek God, run to Him, and open up your heart... He speaks. All you gotta do is listen.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
A Heart to Worship
This topic is probably more dear to my heart than any other of all the numerous aspects that the bible touches upon and God blesses us with. To me, worship is the most wonderful act that God allows us to do. Worship is why heaven is going to be such a wonderful place. And if you don't feel that way, you probably have never experienced it the way God intended us to. Worship can be expressed through any number of outlets in our lives. It's not limited to just one or two. But within each one it allows us to feel the presence of God closer than usual, and to feel wrapped in his love.
My outlet for worship is music. My heart longs for opportunities to praise Him through song. I pour out to Him every time I sing or play. And the experience is indescribable every time. The closeness of God that I feel, the tingling of the Holy Spirit falling over my body, the joy that fills my heart, are all so fulfilling, and so wonderful, that I can't wait until next time that I can raise my voice to God. I value this experience. And what I value most about it is the fact that God hears me no matter where or how I'm singing to Him, and loves it just the same.
It's easy to open up to people who love you, support you, understand you, and encourage you. It's much riskier to do that for those who put you down, judge, and slander. I don't think I'm at a point yet when I can be completely open about certain things with everyone. I actually think it's unwise. But I will say this. In my life, God has taught me some serious lessons, and one of them was to value worship. Recently God has cut off every outlet I had for expressing worship through music. Some were taken away because of my sin, and I know it. (Although if you are reading this and applying to what you know about me... it's probably not the outlet you're thinking of and most definitely not the sin!) Others were cut off through circumstances having nothing to do with me.
For the first time in my life, I am involved in no ministry involving beloved music. It's weird. That's the only word. I was ready to let go of every single part of it that God was taking away. And I'm having a great time figuring out who I am and who He wants me to be with no extra factors influencing my thoughts, analysis and decisions. But one thing God did not take away from me, and that's the songs. Every time I draw close to Him, He gives me one. I don't know why, for what purpose, or at what time He'll choose to use me through them. But I am praying for a way to realize everything currently playing in my head.
There are some things about worship that nobody can ever take away. It's the desire to glorify God through song. It's the realization that He hears us no matter where or how we're worshipping. I can't express just how greateful I am for that. It's the desire to be used for His purpose, at His time and in His way. And one to keep the heart pure, and open for Him to fill with song and love, out of the overflow of which we can love and bless others. It's the heart to worship.
My outlet for worship is music. My heart longs for opportunities to praise Him through song. I pour out to Him every time I sing or play. And the experience is indescribable every time. The closeness of God that I feel, the tingling of the Holy Spirit falling over my body, the joy that fills my heart, are all so fulfilling, and so wonderful, that I can't wait until next time that I can raise my voice to God. I value this experience. And what I value most about it is the fact that God hears me no matter where or how I'm singing to Him, and loves it just the same.
It's easy to open up to people who love you, support you, understand you, and encourage you. It's much riskier to do that for those who put you down, judge, and slander. I don't think I'm at a point yet when I can be completely open about certain things with everyone. I actually think it's unwise. But I will say this. In my life, God has taught me some serious lessons, and one of them was to value worship. Recently God has cut off every outlet I had for expressing worship through music. Some were taken away because of my sin, and I know it. (Although if you are reading this and applying to what you know about me... it's probably not the outlet you're thinking of and most definitely not the sin!) Others were cut off through circumstances having nothing to do with me.
For the first time in my life, I am involved in no ministry involving beloved music. It's weird. That's the only word. I was ready to let go of every single part of it that God was taking away. And I'm having a great time figuring out who I am and who He wants me to be with no extra factors influencing my thoughts, analysis and decisions. But one thing God did not take away from me, and that's the songs. Every time I draw close to Him, He gives me one. I don't know why, for what purpose, or at what time He'll choose to use me through them. But I am praying for a way to realize everything currently playing in my head.
There are some things about worship that nobody can ever take away. It's the desire to glorify God through song. It's the realization that He hears us no matter where or how we're worshipping. I can't express just how greateful I am for that. It's the desire to be used for His purpose, at His time and in His way. And one to keep the heart pure, and open for Him to fill with song and love, out of the overflow of which we can love and bless others. It's the heart to worship.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Background Information
In my first official post I would like to publicly proclaim that I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, that He died for my sins, and through His sacrifice I have salvation because I confessed my sin and accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. That's the essence of it.
I would also like to tell you that God is real in my life, and that's a rare find among a lot of Christians today. I love God. I love talking to God. When I don't talk to Him for a while I miss God. I feel His blessings in my life and value His leadership and control over it. I'm sad when I disappoint God. But often I struggle with fighting sin (like any believer). Especially in those areas of life that are grey or pose a fine line between sin and purity.
My background is very different from anyone who'd call me a peer. This makes me a controversial addition to any church or bible study... And a very inconvenient one in most cases. But I don't care. Because my point in life is to obey God, and not to please people. I grew up in a Russian Baptist church until I was 10, at which point my family moved to the United States to work at an Assembly's of God bible college. Most students came from Pentecostal churches, so I was immersed in everything Pentecostal for the next 7 years. For the past 4 years I've been attending a Reformed Calvinist church by the title of Mars Hill on a regular basis. So my point of view on God and His Word is drastically different from most people I meet.
I thirst for God's truth, and desire to back any convictions up by His word. Whenever I see people messing with biblical doctrine, it makes me mad. And gives me a good opportunity to love and forgive. Which, unfortunately, I often pass on. Once in a while I like to play the "Devil's Advocate," which people in secure Christian bubbles tend to take radically bad. My point is not to offend, but to make people aware there might be other points of view to consider.
I find it easy to love non-believers. I find it hard to love a lot of my brothers and sisters in Christ. But I am aware of the problem, and am praying for an even bigger overflow of God's love in my life, so that there's enough for annoying "know-it-alls" as well.
I don't know or claim to know everything. I have A LOT of questions about the bible, actually. And I hate when people try to extract my opinion on something I don't have one on yet. I just don't feel like I need to have an opinion on everything. I am easy to convince when presented with logical evidence backed up by The Word. And I like to base my own opinions on that as well. This said, if one has already formed, there's very little chance you'll change it, because it's most likely based on years of research, praying, and looking for an answer. But if it hasn't formed... Don't ask me to answer tricky questions looking solely for wrong vocabulary to comment on to prove your point. That's not loving. And your point will not be taken seriously.
Let's see, what else... I think that about covers it. With this knowledge, feel free to comment, dispute, and state your opinion on anything I post. Just remember that the only commandment God has left us in the new testament is to LOVE....
I would also like to tell you that God is real in my life, and that's a rare find among a lot of Christians today. I love God. I love talking to God. When I don't talk to Him for a while I miss God. I feel His blessings in my life and value His leadership and control over it. I'm sad when I disappoint God. But often I struggle with fighting sin (like any believer). Especially in those areas of life that are grey or pose a fine line between sin and purity.
My background is very different from anyone who'd call me a peer. This makes me a controversial addition to any church or bible study... And a very inconvenient one in most cases. But I don't care. Because my point in life is to obey God, and not to please people. I grew up in a Russian Baptist church until I was 10, at which point my family moved to the United States to work at an Assembly's of God bible college. Most students came from Pentecostal churches, so I was immersed in everything Pentecostal for the next 7 years. For the past 4 years I've been attending a Reformed Calvinist church by the title of Mars Hill on a regular basis. So my point of view on God and His Word is drastically different from most people I meet.
I thirst for God's truth, and desire to back any convictions up by His word. Whenever I see people messing with biblical doctrine, it makes me mad. And gives me a good opportunity to love and forgive. Which, unfortunately, I often pass on. Once in a while I like to play the "Devil's Advocate," which people in secure Christian bubbles tend to take radically bad. My point is not to offend, but to make people aware there might be other points of view to consider.
I find it easy to love non-believers. I find it hard to love a lot of my brothers and sisters in Christ. But I am aware of the problem, and am praying for an even bigger overflow of God's love in my life, so that there's enough for annoying "know-it-alls" as well.
I don't know or claim to know everything. I have A LOT of questions about the bible, actually. And I hate when people try to extract my opinion on something I don't have one on yet. I just don't feel like I need to have an opinion on everything. I am easy to convince when presented with logical evidence backed up by The Word. And I like to base my own opinions on that as well. This said, if one has already formed, there's very little chance you'll change it, because it's most likely based on years of research, praying, and looking for an answer. But if it hasn't formed... Don't ask me to answer tricky questions looking solely for wrong vocabulary to comment on to prove your point. That's not loving. And your point will not be taken seriously.
Let's see, what else... I think that about covers it. With this knowledge, feel free to comment, dispute, and state your opinion on anything I post. Just remember that the only commandment God has left us in the new testament is to LOVE....
Inspiration to Start
My inspiration to start this blog came from a Mars Hill sermon on September 13th, 2009. Pastor Mark Driscoll mentioned this in passing, and I doubt many people noticed it, but the words spoke to me loud and clear. "Will I blog about my faith?" In my main blog the topic of faith comes up often, but never as in-depth as sometimes I would like, since it's intended to be somewhat of a light-read. But God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are much more important in my life than anyone or anything else, and therefore definitely deserve a separate blog! And why I didnt think of this before is a mystery to me. But His call was clear on Sunday that I need to glorify Him through my writing. So my answer to this calls is:
"Yes. I WILL blog about my faith!!!"
"Yes. I WILL blog about my faith!!!"
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